Leader of the pack to seven children, one man child husband, two dogs, four cats and two birds.
Creator of The Reverse Housewife www.facebook.com/TheReverseHousewife/ .
Writer at WeekendNotes.
~Instead of a night out with Man Power you opt for a night in with Bob the Builder.
~The perfect meal plan involves cold spaghetti and mashed banana.
~Shopping trips are an opportunity to show off your wheelie skills with a trolley.
~You know that anything the size of a ten cent coin or smaller is capable of passing through the human digestive tract with little intervention.
Image credit to pixabay https://pixabay.com/
~Cupcakes are a perfectly acceptable breakfast food.
~Up means down and down means up… and sideways…. and left…. and right…..
~Please and thank you is a foreign language. Possibly French or Spanish, Dora may know.
~Nap time is needed by Mummy too.
~Bath time is an opportunity to have the floor cleaned as well. Just hand your child a bucket.
~Every day is worthy of a fashion parade that requires your child to take on and off at least ten changes of clothes.
~Having an imaginary friend means an extra dinner placing must be set and your child gets the pick of what is on the “friends” plate.
~Mummy can be said in 54 different tones, pitches and facial expressions. 108 if you count the versions which include a finger up the nose.
~An outfit qualifies as good enough to go out in if it has less than three milk dribble stains on it and only one slight pooh explosion stain (providing it is in a place that you can put your handbag in front of).
~If the serving plate you're providing for dinner isn't the biggest and possibly the most easily breakable from the cupboard, then it isn't the right plate.
~Orange is whatever colour your child says it is.
~Playing outside in the rain IS okay because they said so and a toddler is ALWAYS right
~“Why?” is a perfectly acceptable question, response and general enquiry.
~Bathroom trips are a family event.
~Bedtime is just an approximate time that may mean give or take an hour (or six).
~You are capable of telling what is wrong with your child by the colour of their snot, poop or ear wax.
~The ‘Great Shoe Hunt’ game is the official pre-outing ritual played every day. In fact you’re not even sure your child isn’t hiding a shoe on purpose just so they can play it.
~You know that hairspray can clean texta off walls and toothpaste can fix scratches in CDs.
And finally, you know you’re a Mother to a toddler when you hide your chocolate in the veggie crisper because it is the only place your child never raids in the fridge.