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Mum Truths

by Catherine O'Halloran (follow)
Parents (94)     
The truth about motherhood is that is hard work. The hours suck and the pay is terrible. However, motherhood is full of joy and laughter too. Let's face it, without those moments we would be a huddled mess on the floor within a week. “Mum Truths” are the Murphy’s Laws of parenting. These are a few of the funny and ironic truths that make up my everyday day life…

Mum Truths

- The speed at which my children get ready is indirectly proportionate to how late I am running ( i.e. the later I’m running, the slower my kids will get ready).

- When driving, if I tell my kids I will pass them their drink the next time we get to a red light, I am guaranteed green lights for the rest of my journey (typically this only works when my child DESPERATELY needs said item and never when I try to use it just to get a few green lights).

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

- The earlier I have to get up in the morning the harder it is to get the kids to go to sleep the night before.

- The paler the clothes I put on my child the greater their need for tomato sauce with lunch or dinner.

- The closer I get to leaving the house in the morning the dirtier my children get, even if I dress them thirty seconds before I leave the house.

- Pens, pencils and most especially permanent markers activate cloaking devices when anyone other than my two year old is looking for one.

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

- The more embarrassing the story the more likely it is that my four year old will share it with the checkout operator at the supermarket.

- The worse the curse word the more likely my toddler will be to enunciate it clearly and loudly in a very public place.

- Burping and farting are perfectly acceptable behaviours at the dinner table.

- Band aids have magical powers than can cure any cut, scratch, or ouchie in two minutes or less.

- Leaving the nappy bag at home means a 90% increase in the chance of my baby having a poo-splotion (an explosive poo) or projectile vomit.

- According to my nine year old 2 minute noodles are considered a perfectly acceptable alternative to breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

- Food on my plate is yummier than the food on my two year old’s plate.

- Shorts are perfectly suitable for wearing year round…no matter how cold it is or how much I tell them to put on warmer clothes.

This list is by no means exhaustive and it continues to grow everyday. Feel free to share some of your “Mum Truths”. I'd love to know I'm not the only one living this life.

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